The Middle

Ok so mom calls me tonight laughing about the episode of the middle. A tv show that I don't get to watch because we don't get ABC on tv. So I got on the internet to watch it. Anyways, there is a girl on the show that joins the swim team in high school. She is pretty nerdy. And apparently she reminds my family of me. Oh joy thats something I wanted to hear. But anyhoo, she was so exited and was running to school and freaked out cause she 'almost didn't remember her locker combination'...which got my family laughing even harder. (and I will tell a story to explain why soon...) and also she didn't want to be late, so she had her goggles still on her head. So now for the reason why my family was laughing so hard. When I was a freshman, we had the old swimming pool a couple blocks from my house. We had early morning swim practise. I had to walk to practise. And then after hurry get dressed and run home to catch a ride to the school with my older brother Kelly (who was a senior and didn't really enjoy taking his dorky freshman sister to school). Well we had a really rough practise. And apparently I was dazed and couldn't remember ANYTHING. OH and to make this even worse, I am COMPETELY BLIND without my glasses or contacts. But I had a 'very cool' pair of prescription goggles so I could see in the water. Which was nice becuase without them I would run into the lane rope, go under the lane rope, go over the lane rope, hit the wall, you get the picture. Anyways, practise is over, I am at my locker trying every combination I could think of. And......NOTHING. And every few minutes I would have to flip my awesome prescription goggles and rub the fog off the inside and suction them back to my face so I could TRY AGAIN. But NOTHING. COMPLETE AND TOTAL BRAIN FREEZE. So I leave the locker room, and call Kelly. Begging for him to pick me up at the pool. He says, "NOPE" and hangs up on me. SO I HAD TO WALK 2 (ALMOST 3) BLOCKS HOME IN MY SPEEDO, SWIM CAP STILL ON MY HEAD, NO SHOES, NO COAT, AND STUPID PRESCRIPTION GOGGLES THAT KEPT FOGGING UP, so I would have to stop every few seconds and wipe the insides so I could continue my freezing and oh so humiliating walk home. Oh and did I mention IT WAS SNOWING OUTSIDE?!!! OH but I did have my shammy with me. (If you don't know what a shammy is, its a washrag sized squishy towel thing). NOT BIG ENOUGH TO COVER YOUR FACE size of towel. And of course we lived on main street and all the busses were en route, and all the kids GOING TO SCHOOL PASS MY HOUSE. I have never been more honked at or whistled at in my life. Keep in mind, I am sure it wasn't a 'woohoo hey goodlooking' kind of honk or whistle. It was a 'hey dummy its the middle of winter and you are in a speedo walking down mainstreet you moron' kind of honk. And then I had to stand on the corner of main street for like 10 minutes waiting for a break in traffic just so I could get across to the safety and warmth of my home. So, maybe 45 minutes pass by and my mom gets home from driving her bus route. She walks in the front door to her ONLY DAUGHTER sitting on the couch crying. Yes, still in her speedo swim suit, CAP ON HEAD, and prescription goggles. I remember looking the direction of the door, but couldn't see who walked in UNTIL I FLIPPED MY GOGGLES OVER so I could WIPE THE FOG from them AGAIN. And I don't see a compassionate face, I see tears rolling down my moms face because she was trying so hard to hold in her laughter. (But she lost it and laughed at me anyways.) So I told her Kelly wouldn't come get me at the pool and I couldn't remember my locker combo to get my clothing out or my glasses out. And had to walk home IN THSI OUTFIT in the snow. And do I get a hug? NO! She bursts out in LAUGHTER AGAIN. And so of course I broke down and....LAUGHED. Cause if you can't laugh at yourself, especially with my life, then you are gonna have a really bad life! As Sister Marjorie Paye HInkley once said, "The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache." Anyways, thanks to my mom we finally got my locker opened, I got my clothes on, put my glasses on and went to school. I have managed to keep this wonderful high school memory out of my life for 20 years, until I saw this episode of the middle. And it all came rushing back and of course had to be called by my laughing mother who couldn't even speak she was laughing so hard. So the moral of the story is, I lived. I learned to laugh at myself. Thank goodness I learned to laugh at myself. Because I was only a freshman then, and have a lot more and worse stories than that one. So if you need to visualize this at all, watch the middle. I am the dorky girl who tips over cause her backpack is too heavy (with her goggles on her head of course). LOL