My Aunt Betsy

In a couple days it will be my late Aunt Betsy's birthday. I was reflecting about her life and what a beautiful legacy she left not only her children and husband, but so many others. I was thinking about her life. What a life she lived. I miss her so much. I learned so much from her. I had to do a report in college once about someone you admired and interview that person. This is a bit of my interview to her and her answers. Erin: What do you most value in your life thus far? Betsy: My family. I never thought I would ever say I would have children. But I love mine. I never really had a goal in mind to be a mother, but it is one I cherish and love most. Erin: What were your main goals? Betsy: I always wanted to get an education. I knew that was very important. I wanted to live a ranch life like I always had. Erin: Do you have any advice to someone deciding on a career and going through college right now? Betsy: I would tell you to get your college done before having children. I don't regret how I did it, finishing college with my little ones. But it was extremely hard. We all had to make a lot of sacrifices so I could finish. Wes made a lot at home helping with the kids so I could go back and forth to school and to study. The kids missed me. And I really did miss them. But I would tell you to get an education. It is very important. I hope that my kids can see how hard I worked and appreciate the value I placed on education. I learned so much from her. She taught me how to drive a stick shift. And she was so patient! I am sure she was scared. She grabbed the side of the door handle more than once. But every time I killed it, she would laugh and say do it again. I learned to perseverance and what it REALLY means to ENDURE TO THE END! I love and respect how hard she fought the cancer. She was in a lot of pain and I never heard her complain. She got up and did what she needed to do. I remember how tired she looked one night, but she was determined to go to Logan's basketball game. And she cheered so loud! She did everything she could to be there for her family. I am so thankful that I lived with the Wengerts at the time that I did. I am sure I was a HUGE pain in the butt. And I know I was so naive about the severity of the situation, but I think it is where my Heavenly Father wanted me to be. I look back and wish I had been more helpful and more sensitive to everyone's needs. I wish I had sat and talked with Bets more. She had some serious advise to give to me about some boyfriends I had chose. She teased me mercilessly about them. I should have listened! She knew what she was talking about. LOL I have recently been following a blog called Kathy's Miracle. It is a story similar to that of Betsy. She is a young mother, with a loving and devoted husband. She has 5 young children. And was diagnosed with terminal cancer while pregnant with her 6th baby. She held off cancer treatment for herself until after the birth of baby. But her liver started to fail and they had to deliver little baby Luke early. He was very premature but doing well. Then developed an infection and passed away a couple weeks after birth. Kathy endured this terrible tragedy of the birth and death of her sweet son with great dignity and grace. She had many ups and downs through out her journey but I wanted to put on this post an excerpt Kathy had done on her blog about what she was going through. "I don’t know what the future holds and yet what is beautiful is that God is making the tortuous unknown not only okay, but a life changing experience full of lessons daily that I am being given for me to use here or in the next life. According to most people, I either should have been dead already or I have at most a couple more months. Yet I know God grants me each breath, and he decides when I go. My time is not yet. I also know if God wants me to live then he can heal me in an instant. I also believe the healing could happen very slowly as well. After all, much is learned through the waiting, the ‘being still and knowing he is God’. I know this. I am proud to be able to say that I know God lives. I know he loves me. I know he is capable of being intimately involved in my life and billions of others at the same time. My friend told me the other day that she and others are surprised at how happily and submissively I am handling this adversity. My response was, ‘How can I not?’ she said “I know a lot of people that would shake their hands at God if they had to go through this”. I don’t think of that as an option because given the intensity of this experience it would quickly become too lonely, painful, and sad to exist. Because I want to be submissive and willing to accept these trials, God makes up for my weaknesses and is continually blessing me and guiding me through it. He has not left me alone. He has provided me with a sanctuary, where I have either come now to die or come to be allowed to rest enough that I just might be able to heal and I am fine just almost being a spectator and watching this all unfold. One of the greatest lessons I think I have learned through all this due to my great need and the love so many have given to me is that nothing is more important or noble in this life than to ease human suffering. Nothing! Men are that they might have joy. Joy is felt when love abounds. Jesus did nothing other than heal, comfort, lift up, encourage, give hope, mourn with, bless, teach truth, and ultimately impart his divine love to his brothers and sisters. The very things others have given me during this, my hour of need. Can we ever do anything greater than these things? When we are giving pure, unselfish love to others, we are doing exactly what God wants us to do. And the more we do it, the happier God is with us. I am continually surrounded by angels and angelic Christ like people. What a beautiful existence! I find so much comfort and meaning in the incredible amount of love I have been shown and have felt so sustained by it that I will never deny again the importance of just giving love. To be filled with charity. Charity never faileth. It is the whole essence of this very true gospel which tells us to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort. Just imagine if everyone always did this everyday, if this was their focus, ease human suffering. And through the giving of their love, allowing others hearts to be touched and steered toward Christ. The world would be a beautiful place. I have come to believe that because my circumstance is so intense and can be truly scary at times it can only be counterbalance by so much comfort from other people. There is purpose in why God has instilled these needs in us, because when these intense needs are met, when we feel so fragile, and so in need and someone comforts us and we then feel its okay and can breath again and get through it and bask in the sweetest feeling that is relief, then God smiles. He smiles when we are his hands. He smiles because we are doing what the savior spent his life doing. And there is great purpose in it." This sweet lady passed away on New Years Eve. And I can't imagine what agony this family is going through. But I can only imagine, what she expressed, is what my Aunt Betsy was feeling. And would have said. I know she, in the end felt peace. I know she had such a strong testimony that she accepted the will of our Father in Heaven. So, being that Betsy's birthday is January 18th, I am going to do what I KNOW she would want us to do and use that day to not only celebrate her life and legacy, but to serve. I know my life will be enriched even more. I miss you Bets! Your life and example still reach me and touch me. Your death was not in vain, because of it, you taught so many of us endurance, trust and how to accept the will of God. Even if its not what we understand. I was so sad to have her pass through the veil. But I know without a doubt, she has a much bigger plan that is in motion on the other side. Heavenly Father has great plans that needed her there. Our mortal lives miss her terribly. I know her family misses her far beyond what I can put into words. But I know she is with them. I know she watches over each of them. I feel her with me right now. I am so thankful for that knowledge! I am so thankful for that because it makes me WANT to try harder to be the best I can. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUNT BETSY! I love you and miss you!