Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Who am I?

Its funny how you can be taught something all your life, and it takes one bad day, and sore knees to get reminded. I had a really bad day yesterday. Well it has been building for a while now. But yesterday seemed to explode on me. Its so hard to feel good some days. Especially about me. And yet no one can really understand the pain going on in my mind. Or so thats how I felt yesterday. I felt alone. Everyone here is so thin and cute. All my friends from the branch are model looking people. My sister in laws are all fit and trim (on both sides of the family). My brothers are all active triathlon type people. Even my husband isn't fat. Where do I fit in? I was feeling like I didn't fit in ANYWHERE. I was feeling sorry for myself. I was crying. I have no motivation to exercise. And when I do, my body is working against me right now, so I get even more frustrated. So I got on my knees and prayed for help. And I felt the most overwhelming love and the words came to me. "You are a daughter of God." It is just what I needed to be reminded of. Because even though I may not fit in with how society thinks I should be here on earth, I know that my Heavenly Father knows my true heart. He knows what I am feeling and suffering right now. He knows exactly what I am going through and struggling with and gave me that simple reminder. I am a daughter of God. I know I will continue to struggle with how I look. I know that I will continue to struggle with my thyroid. I know my weight will continue to fluctuate because of it. But one thing will always be a sure and constant in my life. I know that I am a daughter of God. I know my Heavenly Father loves me unconditionally. I know that no matter what, He will be there to give me that reminder.

1 comment:

Lora said...

I love you, Erin! I've always thought you were a fabulous person!
Oh, by the way, I stalk your blog now :)