I am mostly making this blog for MY benefit. I plan to try to print it off eventually and make a book for my kids. Like a fun journal type deal for them. But it is also a way for me to vent. Talk about my frustrations, my happiness, my sadness, my everyday thing I call life. So here is what is up with me today.

Way back when OakLeigh was only 7 months old, so September 2008, I had a large lump on my remaining half of my thyroid. And it was so large, the doctor felt that it would have to be removed no matter what, so we went ahead and did that. Removed this large mass and the rest of my thyroid. S,o very thankfully the mass was benign. And now I have NO thyroid. I did NOT know how much a change my body would have from this little butterfly shaped piece of anatomy. And I was also not informed at all. So being as dumb about as you can be with out knowing a single thing with thyroid, I didnt ask a whole lot of questions. Because I didnt know of any TO ask. So here I am 2 years later, struggling with some wacked out body. Don't get me wrong, I am so very thankful that this mass was benign, and that I am basically healthy. But sheesh, I thought I was loosing it. I did not know that your thyroid had a lot to do with your moods. No wonder I have been such an onery beast. I would be either happy or pissed. I couldnt figure out what was going on. Mostly (I am sure to my family) it seems I have been ticked off. I didnt know why. I couldnt control much on that. I just figured, "man I must be really losing it". The only thing I knew was that thyroid and metabolism go hand in hand. And even with that, the doc I did have told me it didnt. So what the hell is wrong with me, I kept thinking. My skin is all messed up. Either its so dry its peeling all over, or its so oily I am a zit face...my weight has seemed to sky rocket, and that was at a time I was doing good with my excercising and eating. I have become a freaking insomniac. And part of the sleep problem was because of my dealing with the loss of our little Steven. But it never seemed to get better. Lets see, what else, oh and the headaches are horrible. One big headache after another. What the freaking heck is wrong with me? So I switch docs and find a gal that so far seems to be a bit more on top of life. She explained to me that just because my T3 and T4 numbers were ok on paper, didnt mean a whole lot if (and sorry for the cuss) I felt like shit. (Those were her words too!) And in a nut shell, that is how I have felt. Oh yeah, and as for my voice. It constantly sounds like I have a bad cold, or like I am losing my voice due to being sick. NOPE! Not sick, its my thyroid...or lack therof. So now she has upped my dose, I have actually slept so good at night the past week. Its awesome to get more than a few hours of sleep a night! WOOHOO! And of course I an sure because I can sleep, my mood has improved drastically. My skin has actually cleared up. Now for the weight issue. I am sure to most of you I look like the good year blimp. I am. I am dealing with it as best as i can, with a body that doesnt want to help me. So if you see me, and I am dripping in sweat, have acne all over my face, and look like I swallowed Fat Albert, maybe just give me a smile and walk on by.