Blessings

I have been following a blog of a friends friend. This family is going through so many hard trials. One they are facing right now is that their young son has Rhabdomyosarcoma. What a hard horrible thing for not only your child to face, but as a parent it would be my worst nightmare if my child had to face this disease. Anyway I was reading her blog page and she posted something that I am going to take to heart. She said "There are so many with little or no faith. To me faith gives me hope. Why not have hope? If that can get us through our thunderstorms, then why not have faith? This is what gets me through my thunderstorm. The point of this blog is to share my thoughts about my blessings. Sometimes we get so caught up in the trial that we do not see the many blessings right in front of us. I am pretty good about noticing the blessings in my life but I have many days where the clouds overpower the sun...It is my goal, and I am admonishing you all to participate in this challenge with me. We all have trials. I have trials that you prefer to never have and you have trials I would never want. That said, we also all have blessings. My challenge to you and for myself is to consciously recognize one blessing a day. Tell your friend, your mom, write it down, thank God, anyway you do it I want you do see them." This is coming from someone who yes, has a major trial that I hope we never have to face, and through all this she is still able to see her blessings. So I want to take her challenge. Because I do have so many blessings. I think that I let the clouds overpower the sun way too much. I want to change that. I want to be able to let my children and my husband and especially my Heavenly Father that I do notice my blessings and I am thankful for them.

Today I am feeling the blessing of my 3 wonderful children. I wanted to be a mom for so long. It was all I could have ever wanted in my younger days. And now that I am a mom, I know I take it for granted. I take my opportunity to be at home with them for granted. I get cought up in the everyday stress of keeping my house in order, and myself in order. And I tend to not stop and smell the roses. I tend to not stop and get on the floor and play a game with them. I tend to let my stress overpower their innocence and general happiness. I want to be able to enjoy them every day. I often wish I could be the kind of mother the prophets talked about having. One in particular Majorie P. Hinckley. She was such a happy, kind, loving person. She always had a smile on her face. I can imagine the kind of mother she was. An amazing one. I want to be that amazing mom. I know I am a good mom, but I want to be that amazing mom. A mom that my kids will turn to no matter what. That they can trust with their innermost darkest or brightest secrets. I want them to always KNOW that mom is here for them and that mom loves them. Through the good and bad. Mistakes and triumphs. I want to be that mom. Kids I love you more than anything. You have made MY life worth living. You kids are the reason my sun shines through the clouds! And I am so lucky and blessed to be your mom.

Weylon and the eggs!

I could hear Brandon and Weylon having a conversation about eggs this evening. Weylon asked his dad if only girls could lay eggs. Brandon told him, "yes, only girls can lay eggs." Weylon thought about it for a while and says to his dad, "one day I saw a boy that had earrings in his ears. I bet he could lay eggs like girls." I had to laugh. He was so serious. Its funny the things that they pick up on.

One more thing....

I just literally laughed out loud at the last post I made. Because that post was a whine and moan post, and the one right before that was a post about being thankful for what I have...and being thankful for the small trivial trials I have. LOL. Sounds to me like I am a whiner. I was for that post. So here goes, I will write something positive now.

Today while the sun shone, and then didnt shine, and then shone again, and the sky was as black as could be, and then back to blue...well you get the picture if you have ever lived in Wyoming especially. Thats what it was like all day. . Anyways, I was able to take a minute and watch the dogs chasing each other outside. And as they rounded the corner of the house the 2 cats would jump out at them and join in the run for a minute. And in the background my kids weren't fighting, they were playing NICELY in Savanna's room. Brandon was in the office practising his guitar. You could hear our baby chicks chirping away. And it was an overwhelming feeling of peace. One that let me take a deep breath and say a quick thankful prayer to my Father in Heaven for the small and simple things. Where else on earth would I rather be, than in my own safe home, with my very loving husband, with my 3 wonderful healthy children, in a FREE country. And take a minute and realize all the many blessings I have. I am so thankful for the small things in life. Really I am. I know from the last post it doesnt show it, but I wouldnt trade this life for anything. I really am lucky.

I am mostly making this blog for MY benefit. I plan to try to print it off eventually and make a book for my kids. Like a fun journal type deal for them. But it is also a way for me to vent. Talk about my frustrations, my happiness, my sadness, my everyday thing I call life. So here is what is up with me today.

Way back when OakLeigh was only 7 months old, so September 2008, I had a large lump on my remaining half of my thyroid. And it was so large, the doctor felt that it would have to be removed no matter what, so we went ahead and did that. Removed this large mass and the rest of my thyroid. S,o very thankfully the mass was benign. And now I have NO thyroid. I did NOT know how much a change my body would have from this little butterfly shaped piece of anatomy. And I was also not informed at all. So being as dumb about as you can be with out knowing a single thing with thyroid, I didnt ask a whole lot of questions. Because I didnt know of any TO ask. So here I am 2 years later, struggling with some wacked out body. Don't get me wrong, I am so very thankful that this mass was benign, and that I am basically healthy. But sheesh, I thought I was loosing it. I did not know that your thyroid had a lot to do with your moods. No wonder I have been such an onery beast. I would be either happy or pissed. I couldnt figure out what was going on. Mostly (I am sure to my family) it seems I have been ticked off. I didnt know why. I couldnt control much on that. I just figured, "man I must be really losing it". The only thing I knew was that thyroid and metabolism go hand in hand. And even with that, the doc I did have told me it didnt. So what the hell is wrong with me, I kept thinking. My skin is all messed up. Either its so dry its peeling all over, or its so oily I am a zit face...my weight has seemed to sky rocket, and that was at a time I was doing good with my excercising and eating. I have become a freaking insomniac. And part of the sleep problem was because of my dealing with the loss of our little Steven. But it never seemed to get better. Lets see, what else, oh and the headaches are horrible. One big headache after another. What the freaking heck is wrong with me? So I switch docs and find a gal that so far seems to be a bit more on top of life. She explained to me that just because my T3 and T4 numbers were ok on paper, didnt mean a whole lot if (and sorry for the cuss) I felt like shit. (Those were her words too!) And in a nut shell, that is how I have felt. Oh yeah, and as for my voice. It constantly sounds like I have a bad cold, or like I am losing my voice due to being sick. NOPE! Not sick, its my thyroid...or lack therof. So now she has upped my dose, I have actually slept so good at night the past week. Its awesome to get more than a few hours of sleep a night! WOOHOO! And of course I an sure because I can sleep, my mood has improved drastically. My skin has actually cleared up. Now for the weight issue. I am sure to most of you I look like the good year blimp. I am. I am dealing with it as best as i can, with a body that doesnt want to help me. So if you see me, and I am dripping in sweat, have acne all over my face, and look like I swallowed Fat Albert, maybe just give me a smile and walk on by.

So thankful for my blessings

Well it seems like there has been a lot of people with a LOT of trials lately. Trials that make my life seem really great. It seems like those trials of such dear friends come at times that I need to put my life into perspective (again) and appreciate all that I have and be thankful for so many blessings.

I am thankful that Brandon has a great STABLE job. Especially with the economy we are in now, that is a BIG one. But he works hard for our family. I am thankful that we have a home on our 5 acres. I am thankful that I am able to stay at home with our kids. I do watch other children in our home...(got to pay those dang student loans somehow...:) but I am thankful there is a way for me to help out financially a bit, and the biggest blessing is being with our little ones while they are home. I know there are so many moms who would love that opportunity and dont get it. So I am very grateful for that. I am so very thankful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It is my foundation. Without this very firm foundation, my life would have a lot more shaky places. I am so thankful that I have a testimony of this gospel. That I know without a doubt, our little sweet angel, Steven, will be with us again someday. When we lost our baby, a part of me died too. But the one thing that gets me through this is knowing that I will hold him again. That our family is an eternal family and we will be together. I am also so thankful for my kids who make us laugh everyday. Sometimes, it takes a while for the laughter to come, but at the end of the day when Brandon and I are talking about the things that happened with them, we end up having a good laugh. I am thankful that we are all healthy. Yes, I have major thyroid issues right now, but my kids are healthy. Brandon isnt having any hip problems right now. And I have a new doctor that changed my meds and I feel better than i have felt in a LONG time. So, life is good. We have 2 dogs and cats. And now have baby chicks. The sun shone today! We watched New Moon tonight. I was able to hug each of my kids goodnight and tell them I love them. Life really is ok. My trials are very small compared to some others.