Saturday, July 31, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
My Dad and all the other dads in my life!
I kept in the back of my mind to post a blog dedicated to all the fathers in my life, on or around fathers day. I keep forgetting. Well now my dad is really on my mind lately. He has gone through a lot in his life. From getting diagnosed with diabetes as a small young child, to joining a church his family didn't really approve of, to colon cancer. My dad is a hero to me. Through all of his trials in his life, I have never heard him complain. I have never heard him speak badly of what he has had to go through. He has always worked very hard to provide a good life for me and my family. He missed a lot growing up, because he did work so hard for us. Yet, he still managed to be their for us to all the important events in each of our lives. Dad I love you. I want you to know that you are a great example to me. I love the story of how you joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I love telling that to my children. I think its a great legacy you started for our family. I am so very thankful you listened to the missionaries. That you were open enough to hear and feel the spirit testify to you the truthfulness of the Gospel. I know that because of your decision so many years ago, that our family is stronger rooted in whats important. And you and mom were able to be sealed in the temple for time and eternity. I am so thankful to know for a surety that we have the keys to be an eternal family. That is the greatest gift and blessing anyone could ever have. Dad I want you to know that we NEED you to take care of yourself. I NEED you to be around for a LONG time. The kids all need their grandfather around. Mom needs you to grow old with. We as your kids need you for guidance and direction. Believe it or not dad, we all look up to you and admire you for what you have gone through and endure health wise also. It scares me to death when mom calls and tells me how she had to call the EMT's for you again because your sugar got too low. Take care of yourself dad!~ Or your going to start getting phone calls every hour from EACH of your kids every day that mom is on her trips! For your own sanity, and peace from the phone's constant ring, you need to watch yourself better! I love you dad. You are one of my hero's in my life. I admire you and look up to you. I appreciate you so much. When we lost our little Steven, and you made the most beautiful little coffin for him, and you and mom drove all the way here for us. It meant more to me than you will ever know. I love you and am so thankful you are my dad!
Other important dads in my life are my grandfathers. I have had the opportunity to know several! I knew Grandpa Felkins, Popo Elkins, Papa Clawson, and Papo Elkins. Each grandfather has given me such wonderful memories. Memories that I continue to share with my children today!
One other very important dad is Brandon. He is my better half. He is such a wonderful father to our children. I couldn't have chosen a more patient and loving father for my children. It takes a lot for him to get mad and yell at the kids. And it takes even more for him to spank them. I admire that because I am first to yell and spank. I love watching him get on the floor and wrestle around with them. In fact, Brandon is the one who broke the frame on our old couch cause he was running and jumping around with the kids. Brandon has also gone through a lot in his life. He was a miracle baby, his mother was only 24 (or 26) weeks pregnant with him and his twin, Duane when they were born. Duane died after a few days of life. But thankfully Brandon was a fighter and he fought his way out and has lives a great and admirable life! I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father led me to him. I received a blessing from my bishop in Lyman the end of April 2002. And I was promised that once I got my life in order, and put my priorities in line, and started doing what I knew to be right, I would find my eternal companion! And I kid you not, within a week of this blessing from my bishop and my decision to start taking temple prep classes, I met Brandon. And 5 months later we were married in the Bountiful temple. And I know that I made the right decision 7 (almost 8) years ago. I am happy. He is a good father and husband. He tells me he loves me several times a day. He always tells me I am beautiful. (Even though I tell him I am glad he can only see me with one eye, otherwise he might run!) He always makes sure his family is provided for before himself. Times might have been hard financially in the first 5 years of our marriage, but we stayed close to our Heavenly Father and tried to follow the Spirit in all we did. We were definateley led to where we are today. We are here in Rozet because we are supposed to be. Our Father in Heaven wanted us here and that's why we are here. We are happy. Our kids are healthy. When we lost Steven, and I was in the hospital in labor with him for 2 1/2 days, Brandon NEVER left my side. The nurses brought him food to the room. He stayed right by me the whole time. And he was my rock and support in that very difficult time. I love you Brandon. You are my better half. You make our lives happier, better, more fulfilled!
So to all the dads in my life: My dad, grandpa, popo, papa, papo, Kelly, Chris, Tom, Ryan, Lon, and Brandon..(and so many more I cant really name them all) .I love you. I am thankful for you. You have made my life better.
Other important dads in my life are my grandfathers. I have had the opportunity to know several! I knew Grandpa Felkins, Popo Elkins, Papa Clawson, and Papo Elkins. Each grandfather has given me such wonderful memories. Memories that I continue to share with my children today!
One other very important dad is Brandon. He is my better half. He is such a wonderful father to our children. I couldn't have chosen a more patient and loving father for my children. It takes a lot for him to get mad and yell at the kids. And it takes even more for him to spank them. I admire that because I am first to yell and spank. I love watching him get on the floor and wrestle around with them. In fact, Brandon is the one who broke the frame on our old couch cause he was running and jumping around with the kids. Brandon has also gone through a lot in his life. He was a miracle baby, his mother was only 24 (or 26) weeks pregnant with him and his twin, Duane when they were born. Duane died after a few days of life. But thankfully Brandon was a fighter and he fought his way out and has lives a great and admirable life! I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father led me to him. I received a blessing from my bishop in Lyman the end of April 2002. And I was promised that once I got my life in order, and put my priorities in line, and started doing what I knew to be right, I would find my eternal companion! And I kid you not, within a week of this blessing from my bishop and my decision to start taking temple prep classes, I met Brandon. And 5 months later we were married in the Bountiful temple. And I know that I made the right decision 7 (almost 8) years ago. I am happy. He is a good father and husband. He tells me he loves me several times a day. He always tells me I am beautiful. (Even though I tell him I am glad he can only see me with one eye, otherwise he might run!) He always makes sure his family is provided for before himself. Times might have been hard financially in the first 5 years of our marriage, but we stayed close to our Heavenly Father and tried to follow the Spirit in all we did. We were definateley led to where we are today. We are here in Rozet because we are supposed to be. Our Father in Heaven wanted us here and that's why we are here. We are happy. Our kids are healthy. When we lost Steven, and I was in the hospital in labor with him for 2 1/2 days, Brandon NEVER left my side. The nurses brought him food to the room. He stayed right by me the whole time. And he was my rock and support in that very difficult time. I love you Brandon. You are my better half. You make our lives happier, better, more fulfilled!
So to all the dads in my life: My dad, grandpa, popo, papa, papo, Kelly, Chris, Tom, Ryan, Lon, and Brandon..(and so many more I cant really name them all) .I love you. I am thankful for you. You have made my life better.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Finally posting pics from Savanna's birthday!
, Weylon didnt love the blue frosting now did he? LOL
, I had to babysit for her birthday. So we had 10 extras that day! She was happy!
, Savanna and Malainey! Nice cheesy smile!
, Savanna wanted a ball and bat and helmet so bad!
Life in Rozet
Well this has been an interesting week in Rozet! We had a major hailstorm pass through on Monday. It was BAD. I loaded up the kids in the suburban and I looked up at the sky and said, "holy cow, those clouds are wreaking some serious havoc a few miles down the road. We better hurry before that storm hits hard!" So, we drove on to Gillette. Got our shopping done and on the way home, the black clouds were gone, but the wind hit us hard and I had to slow down on the interstate to 50 just to stay on the road, because it was blowing HARD. I know now, that the gusts where up to 100 mph!!! But I just thought that it was wind and that it blew the storm clouds away. I had no idea the HAIL it dropped in its path shortly before. I was fixing dinner and my friend Kristin Jones called and asked us if Brandon could come help her. She had just gotten home and her kitchen windows had all been blown out. Her basement was flooded. And her kitchen was full of glass and water. So B rushed over. I fed the kids and loaded up their bikes so they could ride while I also helped clean. We learned that storm dropped tennis ball to softball sized hail just miles past our house, and in Moorcroft. So many people lost windows in homes, cars, garages...Many things were ruined. I was so thankful that it had skipped our home. But felt so bad for all of our friends that it hit! Needless to say, FHE was on service and helping our fellow beings.
Then in Gillette it was the NHSFR all week. Nacona's oldest daughter Nalynn was in the barrels and poles. She did AWESOME! She ended up taking 2nd in the barrels and winning reserve champion. She took 16th in poles over all too. And she was rookie of the year for the girls! Pretty awesome for anyone, especially more so because she is only a freshman! So we got to go to Linda's and have a bbq with Ace and Timber, Frank and Emily, Chae and his kids, Glenda Kay and Tom, Nelda Rae and Jerry, Nacona and Will. And of course all the kids. It was so fun. And it was fun for Brandon too. He felt like he fit right in. I loved chatting with Timber. She is such an amazing mom and person. So glad I got to know her more. Plus her little family is so stinking cute! Lots of fun!
Today at church Bro. Williams gave a talk that really touched me. I wanted to put up the jist of it. I am sure I dont have it all correct, but I loved the stories so much. One was as follows:
A woman, we will call her Marge, and her husband, lets name him Bill, were sitting down to breakfast one morning. They were watching a new family move in across the street. The next morning Marge was watching this young mother hang some clothes on the line. Marge commented to Bill, "she really needs some different detergent. Or someone needs to teach her how to wash clothes better. Those are so dirty!" Bill didnt say anything. He looked up from the paper and grunted. This conversation went on for a few weeks with Marge always saying that her clothes were still so dirty. Well one morning Marge sat down to breakfast and mentioned to Bill, "wow, someone must have shown her how to wash clothes. They are so clean!" Bill looks up at her and says, "I got up early this morning and washed OUR windows!" I love that! Really makes you think!
The other story goes like this - ooh I found the whole story on line so here it is!
Mr Miller's Grocery Store in Idaho - Red Marbles
I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas
I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.
Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.
'Hello Barry, how are you today?
'H'lo, Mr Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus 'admirin' them peas. They sure look good.
'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?
'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'
'Good. Anything I can help you with?
'No, Sir. Jus 'admirin' them peas.
'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr Miller
'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'
'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?
'All I got's my prize marble here.
'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller
'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.
'I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked
'Not zackley but almost.
'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'. Mr Miller told the boy
'Sure will. Thanks Mr Miller.
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.
»
Years later Mr Miller died
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.
Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.Mr Miller - Inspirational story
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt.
'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho .
With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles
The Moral : We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.
I love love love this story. I hope that my life will be remembered for kind deeds. For service. For love like Mr. Miller had shown!
Then in Gillette it was the NHSFR all week. Nacona's oldest daughter Nalynn was in the barrels and poles. She did AWESOME! She ended up taking 2nd in the barrels and winning reserve champion. She took 16th in poles over all too. And she was rookie of the year for the girls! Pretty awesome for anyone, especially more so because she is only a freshman! So we got to go to Linda's and have a bbq with Ace and Timber, Frank and Emily, Chae and his kids, Glenda Kay and Tom, Nelda Rae and Jerry, Nacona and Will. And of course all the kids. It was so fun. And it was fun for Brandon too. He felt like he fit right in. I loved chatting with Timber. She is such an amazing mom and person. So glad I got to know her more. Plus her little family is so stinking cute! Lots of fun!
Today at church Bro. Williams gave a talk that really touched me. I wanted to put up the jist of it. I am sure I dont have it all correct, but I loved the stories so much. One was as follows:
A woman, we will call her Marge, and her husband, lets name him Bill, were sitting down to breakfast one morning. They were watching a new family move in across the street. The next morning Marge was watching this young mother hang some clothes on the line. Marge commented to Bill, "she really needs some different detergent. Or someone needs to teach her how to wash clothes better. Those are so dirty!" Bill didnt say anything. He looked up from the paper and grunted. This conversation went on for a few weeks with Marge always saying that her clothes were still so dirty. Well one morning Marge sat down to breakfast and mentioned to Bill, "wow, someone must have shown her how to wash clothes. They are so clean!" Bill looks up at her and says, "I got up early this morning and washed OUR windows!" I love that! Really makes you think!
The other story goes like this - ooh I found the whole story on line so here it is!
Mr Miller's Grocery Store in Idaho - Red Marbles
I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas
I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.
Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.
'Hello Barry, how are you today?
'H'lo, Mr Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus 'admirin' them peas. They sure look good.
'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?
'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'
'Good. Anything I can help you with?
'No, Sir. Jus 'admirin' them peas.
'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr Miller
'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'
'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?
'All I got's my prize marble here.
'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller
'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.
'I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked
'Not zackley but almost.
'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'. Mr Miller told the boy
'Sure will. Thanks Mr Miller.
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.
»
Years later Mr Miller died
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.
Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.Mr Miller - Inspirational story
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt.
'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho .
With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles
The Moral : We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.
I love love love this story. I hope that my life will be remembered for kind deeds. For service. For love like Mr. Miller had shown!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Precious!
There are times in probably every mothers life, where you wonder if you are doing a good job as a mom. I constantly have this fear that I am not serving my children in a way that my Heavenly Father wants or needs me to. Its so scary. I hate it when I lose my temper with my kids. I feel like such a failure when I let my temper get in the way of what is important. I hope and pray that my sweet little children know that I love them. I pray that they will always live life with ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY that mom loves them. Because even though I get frustrated at them, and lose my temper and yell, and yes spank...I hope they know that they are my whole world. I am so very thankful that I have my children. I am so thankful they are all healthy. That I was blessed with them. My heart aches for the moms out there who have to face cancer, other diseases and/or death with their children. Scares me so bad. Just the thought gives me severe anxiety and overwhelming sadness. So, Savanna, Weylon and OakLeigh: I love you. Please know that I don't mean to get frustrated and take that out on you. I love you more than life itself. I want you to know that.
I found this talk given by M. Russell Ballard, “Daughters of God,” Liahona, May 2008. I put what struck me the most on this.
"There is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood.
There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.
I am impressed by countless mothers who have learned how important it is to focus on the things that can only be done in a particular season of life. If a child lives with parents for 18 or 19 years, that span is only one-fourth of a parent’s life. And the most formative time of all, the early years in a child’s life, represents less than one-tenth of a parent’s normal life. It is crucial to focus on our children for the short time we have them with us and to seek, with the help of the Lord, to teach them all we can before they leave our homes. This eternally important work falls to mothers and fathers as equal partners. I am grateful that today many fathers are more involved in the lives of their children. But I believe that the instincts and the intense nurturing involvement of mothers with their children will always be a major key to their well-being. In the words of the proclamation on the family, “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).
We need to remember that the full commitment of motherhood and of putting children first can be difficult. Through my own four-generation experience in our family, and through discussions with mothers of young children throughout the Church, I know something of a mother’s emotions that accompany her commitment to be at home with young children. There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they have made. Sometimes even husbands seem to have no idea of the demands upon their wives.
As a Church, we have enormous respect and gratitude to you mothers of young children. We want you to be happy and successful in your families and to have the validation and support you need and deserve. So today, let me ask and briefly answer four questions. While my answers may seem extremely simple, if the simple things are being tended to, a mother’s life can be most rewarding.
The first question: What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure and enjoy your family more?
First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.
Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” (Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).
Second, don’t overschedule yourselves or your children. We live in a world that is filled with options. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with social events, classes, exercise time, book clubs, scrapbooking, Church callings, music, sports, the Internet, and our favorite TV shows. One mother told me of a time that her children had 29 scheduled commitments every week: music lessons, Scouts, dance, Little League, day camps, soccer, art, and so forth. She felt like a taxi driver. Finally, she called a family meeting and announced, “Something has to go; we have no time to ourselves and no time for each other.” Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.
Third, even as you try to cut out the extra commitments, sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children. Avoid any kind of substance abuse, mistakenly thinking that it will help you accomplish more. And don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet. Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it.
Fourth, pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, “We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.”
The second question: What more can a husband do to support his wife, the mother of their children?
First, show extra appreciation and give more validation for what your wife does every day. Notice things and say thank you—often. Schedule some evenings together, just the two of you.
Second, have a regular time to talk with your wife about each child’s needs and what you can do to help.
Third, give your wife a “day away” now and then. Just take over the household and give your wife a break from her daily responsibilities. Taking over for a while will greatly enhance your appreciation of what your wife does. You may do a lot of lifting, twisting, and bending!
Fourth, come home from work and take an active role with your family. Don’t put work, friends, or sports ahead of listening to, playing with, and teaching your children.
The third question: What can children, even young children, do? Now, you children, please listen to me because there are some simple things you can do to help your mother.
You can pick up your toys when you are finished playing with them, and when you get a little older, you can make your bed, help with the dishes, and do other chores—without being asked.
You can say thank you more often when you finish a nice meal, when a story is read to you at bedtime, or when clean clothes are put in your drawers.
Most of all, you can put your arms around your mother often and tell her you love her.
The last question: What can the Church do?
There are many things the Church offers to mothers and families, but for my purpose today may I suggest that the bishopric and the ward council members be especially watchful and considerate of the time and resource demands on young mothers and their families. Know them and be wise in what you ask them to do at this time in their lives. Alma’s counsel to his son Helaman applies to us today: “Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6).
I hope all of you dear sisters, married or single, never wonder if you have worth in the sight of the Lord and to the leaders of the Church. We love you. We respect you and appreciate your influence in preserving the family and assisting with the growth and the spiritual vitality of the Church. Let us remember that “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”). The scriptures and the teachings of the prophets and apostles help all family members to prepare together now to be together through all eternity. I pray that God will continually bless the women of the Church to find joy and happiness in their sacred roles as daughters of God.
Now, in closing, I want to add my witness of President Monson’s prophetic call. I have known him since he was 22 and I was 21. That’s 58 years. I have watched the hand of the Lord prepare him for this day to preside over the Church as the prophet and President. And I add my testimony, along with all of the other testimonies that have been borne through this conference, of his special calling as President of the Church, and add my testimony, along with all of the others, that Jesus is the Christ and this is His Church. We are doing His work, to which I testify in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.
I am posting this talk so when I forget to live in the moment. When I forget and let time fly by, I can come back to this talk and reflect. Remember. Slow down. Enjoy my children. Every time I get upset and start to yell, Brandon sings, "your gonna miss this" song. And yes, it drives me crazy, but he knows what I need to hear to calm down. I dont want to miss anything. I want to cherish EVERY MOMENT I can as a mother. I want my kids to have good memories. Tonight I will get on my knees and thank my Father in Heaven (again) for my beautiful children. I will ask for help to live in the moment with them. To enjoy each second I have with them on this earth.
I found this talk given by M. Russell Ballard, “Daughters of God,” Liahona, May 2008. I put what struck me the most on this.
"There is no role in life more essential and more eternal than that of motherhood.
There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children. The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.
I am impressed by countless mothers who have learned how important it is to focus on the things that can only be done in a particular season of life. If a child lives with parents for 18 or 19 years, that span is only one-fourth of a parent’s life. And the most formative time of all, the early years in a child’s life, represents less than one-tenth of a parent’s normal life. It is crucial to focus on our children for the short time we have them with us and to seek, with the help of the Lord, to teach them all we can before they leave our homes. This eternally important work falls to mothers and fathers as equal partners. I am grateful that today many fathers are more involved in the lives of their children. But I believe that the instincts and the intense nurturing involvement of mothers with their children will always be a major key to their well-being. In the words of the proclamation on the family, “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102).
We need to remember that the full commitment of motherhood and of putting children first can be difficult. Through my own four-generation experience in our family, and through discussions with mothers of young children throughout the Church, I know something of a mother’s emotions that accompany her commitment to be at home with young children. There are moments of great joy and incredible fulfillment, but there are also moments of a sense of inadequacy, monotony, and frustration. Mothers may feel they receive little or no appreciation for the choice they have made. Sometimes even husbands seem to have no idea of the demands upon their wives.
As a Church, we have enormous respect and gratitude to you mothers of young children. We want you to be happy and successful in your families and to have the validation and support you need and deserve. So today, let me ask and briefly answer four questions. While my answers may seem extremely simple, if the simple things are being tended to, a mother’s life can be most rewarding.
The first question: What can you do, as a young mother, to reduce the pressure and enjoy your family more?
First, recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.
Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” (Loud and Clear [2004], 10–11).
Second, don’t overschedule yourselves or your children. We live in a world that is filled with options. If we are not careful, we will find every minute jammed with social events, classes, exercise time, book clubs, scrapbooking, Church callings, music, sports, the Internet, and our favorite TV shows. One mother told me of a time that her children had 29 scheduled commitments every week: music lessons, Scouts, dance, Little League, day camps, soccer, art, and so forth. She felt like a taxi driver. Finally, she called a family meeting and announced, “Something has to go; we have no time to ourselves and no time for each other.” Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.
Third, even as you try to cut out the extra commitments, sisters, find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn or do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well, and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishes you, you will have less and less to give to others, even to your children. Avoid any kind of substance abuse, mistakenly thinking that it will help you accomplish more. And don’t allow yourself to be caught up in the time-wasting, mind-numbing things like television soap operas or surfing the Internet. Turn to the Lord in faith, and you will know what to do and how to do it.
Fourth, pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, “We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.”
The second question: What more can a husband do to support his wife, the mother of their children?
First, show extra appreciation and give more validation for what your wife does every day. Notice things and say thank you—often. Schedule some evenings together, just the two of you.
Second, have a regular time to talk with your wife about each child’s needs and what you can do to help.
Third, give your wife a “day away” now and then. Just take over the household and give your wife a break from her daily responsibilities. Taking over for a while will greatly enhance your appreciation of what your wife does. You may do a lot of lifting, twisting, and bending!
Fourth, come home from work and take an active role with your family. Don’t put work, friends, or sports ahead of listening to, playing with, and teaching your children.
The third question: What can children, even young children, do? Now, you children, please listen to me because there are some simple things you can do to help your mother.
You can pick up your toys when you are finished playing with them, and when you get a little older, you can make your bed, help with the dishes, and do other chores—without being asked.
You can say thank you more often when you finish a nice meal, when a story is read to you at bedtime, or when clean clothes are put in your drawers.
Most of all, you can put your arms around your mother often and tell her you love her.
The last question: What can the Church do?
There are many things the Church offers to mothers and families, but for my purpose today may I suggest that the bishopric and the ward council members be especially watchful and considerate of the time and resource demands on young mothers and their families. Know them and be wise in what you ask them to do at this time in their lives. Alma’s counsel to his son Helaman applies to us today: “Behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6).
I hope all of you dear sisters, married or single, never wonder if you have worth in the sight of the Lord and to the leaders of the Church. We love you. We respect you and appreciate your influence in preserving the family and assisting with the growth and the spiritual vitality of the Church. Let us remember that “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”). The scriptures and the teachings of the prophets and apostles help all family members to prepare together now to be together through all eternity. I pray that God will continually bless the women of the Church to find joy and happiness in their sacred roles as daughters of God.
Now, in closing, I want to add my witness of President Monson’s prophetic call. I have known him since he was 22 and I was 21. That’s 58 years. I have watched the hand of the Lord prepare him for this day to preside over the Church as the prophet and President. And I add my testimony, along with all of the other testimonies that have been borne through this conference, of his special calling as President of the Church, and add my testimony, along with all of the others, that Jesus is the Christ and this is His Church. We are doing His work, to which I testify in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.
I am posting this talk so when I forget to live in the moment. When I forget and let time fly by, I can come back to this talk and reflect. Remember. Slow down. Enjoy my children. Every time I get upset and start to yell, Brandon sings, "your gonna miss this" song. And yes, it drives me crazy, but he knows what I need to hear to calm down. I dont want to miss anything. I want to cherish EVERY MOMENT I can as a mother. I want my kids to have good memories. Tonight I will get on my knees and thank my Father in Heaven (again) for my beautiful children. I will ask for help to live in the moment with them. To enjoy each second I have with them on this earth.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Family.
Well we had our annual Felkins Family reunion for 2010. It was awesome! Thanks Tom and Genny for all your hard work. The kids are still talking about it. Moon lake was amazingly beautiful. The beach was awesome. Too bad the wind blew so much, it would have been much more fun without it, but we are all originally from Wyoming (well except SARA - but she was close enough to the border to catch most of it:) we are used to the wind! The skits were funny.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
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